Hey guys. What’s up? I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling like it’s July Freakin’ 31st and we are still here.

Like, my last blog was in the beginning of May and I thought “Oh, we’ll be out of here by the end of June, tops! Then the kids will all go back to school in August!”

Oh honey. That’s so cute.

Because it’s July Freakin’ 31st and thing have only gotten worse.

I’ll be honest. The reason why I stepped away from this blog is because I had a total nervous breakdown curled up in the fetal position in bed. But also I gave in to convenience and let Thaddeus use my computer for Minecraft, so I had no computer to use and then I didn’t get my computer back until I literally bought a new one this week. It’s kind of a long story.

So here we are, still quarantined in the cabin. Still hiding from all of society thanks to my extremely high-risk status. The kids have not seen their friends in person in 4 months 16 days, or 19 weeks and 5 days, or 138 days. They saw their grandparents (my folks) after they carefully quarantined themselves and then rented the cabin two doors down for 4 days. That’s been it. Lucky me, I saw my friends in person twice!

I mean, what is happening here?

I’ve basically given up on parenting. Who’s with me? Nobody? Yeah. My kids are on their screens for more hours than there are in the day. I don’t know how that’s possible, but it’s true. I’ve abandoned all pretense of being a good parent who sets boundaries and fosters a joyful environment. Mommy fail. And I can’t even muster up enough energy to care.

And then there’s school. Lord have mercy, it’s school.

Poppy loves her public school. She felt her teacher last year was too easy and did not give enough tests. She loves her friends and loves learning. She freakin’ HATES Zoom. But no matter, she is 100% online until our county meets a certain threshold. And honestly I’m conflicted. Health-wise, all online is obviously, scientifically the safest way to go. And safety should come first. But let’s be honest–it pretty much sucks. Basically every option here sucks. Big time. Sucks sucks sucks. Still, I think the option that actually keeps me alive is probably the best. So online it is.

Poppy hates Zoom. Did I mention she hates Zoom? I don’t know why. She Zooms with her friends just fine. But when it comes to taking an online class from Outschool or doing karate or doing an actual school thing or even participating in Girl Scout meetings, she hates it. How is this going to work for actual school? I honestly don’t know. I think she doesn’t like crowded Zoom meetings. Who does? But she’s going to have to learn this way. I can’t wait. This will be a blast.

Meanwhile, due to some bad timing, state laws, and other stuff, we are homeschooling Thaddeus and declaring ourselves a private school with the state. We were with a charter, but for complicated reasons, we are no longer with a charter. We decided to name ourself the Wexler Preparatory Academy. If we homeschool Thaddeus through high school, his diploma will declare him a graduate of Wexler Preparatory Academy. Because why not? Wexler is the last name of my favorite character, Turtle Wexler, in one of our favorite books, The Westing Game. I absolutely LOVE The Westing Game, although there are some Asian stereotypes that need to be addressed. Cal loved The Westing Game so much, as a kid he carried around his copy until the cover fell off. Hey here’s an idea during quarantine–read The Westing Game!

I was considering an acronym for our private school. I liked “Family Unified Bidirectional Academic Resources Academy” but the FUBAR-A seemed a little obvious. Even though it’s pretty accurate.

I mean, that’s kind of it right now. Stay tuned for more exciting episodes of “Oh Shit, I’m Homeschooling!”